


smoking hot barista

by vonseal



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M, Romance, Smoking, they're so cliched, why is it always cafes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-24 04:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9701948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vonseal/pseuds/vonseal
Summary: Dongmin had plans to fall in love with a fellow nursing student,nota smoking art student.





	1. bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dongmin had once written a very lengthy and wordy paper on the dangers of smoking and lung cancer and what have you, and the fact that he had actually felt an attraction to someone who smoked was unbelievable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol what is mj/eunwoo and why am i not writing myungjin

Early morning coffee runs were a necessity to Dongmin at this point in his life.

As a medical student, he had become quite accustomed to the long hours studying every night, coupled with the early morning lectures he would have to attend at the university. There was hardly anytime in between the two for sleep, and so coffee held him off until he could catch a nap later on in the day.

As such, he knew everybody at the local cafe. There was Jinwoo, the slow cashier who caused a line but would still manage to brighten everyone's day; Sanha, the overly-excited kid who would pick up the morning shift on Saturdays when he didn't have class; and Minhyuk, a barista more on the quiet side, but Dongmin caught him – more than once – dancing to whatever catchy tune had come onto the radio that quietly played as customers chewed on bagels and croissants and other baked goods.

So it was quite a shock when Dongmin came in one slow morning to none of the regular faces. Instead, there was a new employee, name tag reading out _Myungjun_ , but Dongmin almost missed that due to the blinding grin the kid wore. He was rendered speechless for a few seconds before realizing Myungjun was asking a question.

“-sir? Sir, what can I get for you today?”

It wouldn't do good to get all out of sorts from someone who appeared younger than him. Dongmin would have to brush aside his attraction for the time being. Besides, he made up his mind when he started college that he was going to find someone within his program, as it would make the relationship more equal and relateable. He hadn't seen Myungjun before, and he _highly_ doubted that any of the medical students would actually have free time to work at a coffee shop. Even if Dongmin truly wanted a relationship with Myungjun (which he did _not_ , this was only his first time meeting the kid, and he didn't even know what his personality was like), it would be impossible to work it all out.

“I'll just take a medium coffee and a bagel,” Dongmin responded. His usual was good, and Myungjun nodded and moved to prep Dongmin's order.

As the kid prepped, Dongmin watched him curiously. He moved with such energy, almost like that Sanha kid, but _unlike_ Sanha, Myungjun seemed to flow through the order better. There was far less tripping over his own feet, in any case.

“You don't have to keep staring, you know,” Myungjun suddenly commented, and that grin was back on his face. “I know you probably haven't seen anyone this pretty since you looked in a mirror this morning, but I _am_ a real person. I'm not an angel.”

Dongmin blinked, and suddenly realized that Myungjun had caught his watchful gaze. With a small cough, Dongmin pushed himself off the counter. “I wasn't staring.”

“Lying is unbecoming on you,” Myungjun responded, and he passed over the bagel and coffee.

“No, really, it wasn't because I think you're pretty,” Dongmin continued. “I was simply confused because I haven't seen you working here before.”

Myungjun nodded in understanding. “Ah. So you're a regular here, then?”

“Every morning.”

“And I hope you order the same thing every morning. That makes it really easy.”

“I do.”

“Thank god.” Myungjun sighed, and his lips curled up in a smirk. “Well, my name is _Myungjun_ , and I'm twenty-three years old. And, yeah, I'm new here.”

Dongmin had to do a double take. There was _no way_ Myungjun was only twenty-three. He certainly didn't look older than Jinwoo, in any case, and he _really_ looked younger than Dongmin himself. “Twenty-three?” he repeated. Myungjun nodded his head, and Dongmin grabbed onto the coffee. “I don't believe that for an instant.”

Myungjun's face fell. “How old do you think I am?”

“I'm not sure. Not older than me, honestly, and I'm twenty.”

“Ooh, you're such a baby.” Myungjun giggled, a hand coming up too late to hide it. “I can assure you, though, I _am_ twenty-three. You can ask any of my coworkers, and they'll tell you. I've only been working here for a day or two, and they already _know_ I'm twenty-three, because they don't let me forget the fact that I'm apparently the oldest one here.”

There wasn't much of a reason to _not_ believe Myungjun, save for the fact he truly looked young, and Dongmin certainly wasn't in the mood to argue with a barista over ages, so he decided to accept it with a nod. “Alright, fine, I believe you,” he responded, and then took his bagel. “Nice to meet you, then, Myungjun. And thank you for my coffee and bagel.”

“No problem!” Myungjun was grinning again, and Dongmin found it endearing. Before his sudden attraction could get the best of him, he turned quickly and chose his normal seat near one of the large windows, making certain his back would face Myungjun throughout the entirety of his quick breakfast. If he was fortunate, perhaps Myungjun would start taking the later shifts instead of the early ones. That way, Dongmin could assure himself that he wouldn't fall completely head-over-heels for someone who was a barista, and not some intelligent doctor.

As he chewed on his bagel, he wondered how many of his fellow classmates were actually also into men. That was something he had yet to figure out, due to his inability to properly confess to any of the guys he had a crush on. And it might be difficult to date any of them if none of them would actually _date_ men. Perhaps his plans for finishing university with a boyfriend weren't as realistic as he had originally assumed.

He sat in thought for longer than necessary before his watch started to beep lightly. Breakfast was over, and he really needed to hurry along to class. He was typically much earlier than this, and he rushed to finish off his coffee. However, his eyes caught sight of someone standing just outside the window.

And this someone was Myungjun and this someone was smoking a cigarette.

Dongmin's eyes widened as he stared, but he quickly looked away when Myungjun's head turned in his direction.

The guy _smoked_? He was so attractive, and he _smoked_? That wouldn't do. Dongmin had once written a very lengthy and wordy paper on the dangers of smoking and lung cancer and what have you, and the fact that he had actually felt an attraction to someone who _smoked_ was unbelievable.

This solidified the fact that he needed to marry a doctor, not some smoking barista.

(And then the immature part of his mind, the part he kept locked up inside a cell, managed to push through the thought that Myungjun might be _smoking hot_ , but he instantly hated himself for allowing such immaturity to shine through, even if it was just in his brain, and he quelled that thought rather hurriedly.)

He heard the door open and Myungjun moved past his table, smelling of the cigarette smoke. Dongmin didn't know what compelled him to do it, but he coughed loudly in exaggeration and covered his mouth.

From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Myungjun stop and look over at him, and when he spared the barista a glance, he could tell Myungjun was smiling widely.

Dongmin felt his face heat up and he quickly looked back down at his empty cup of coffee and the bagel crumbs that littered his napkin. He was _such_ an idiot! He should just let it alone and pretend it didn't affect him.

But why would he have to pretend? It really _didn't_ affect him, did it?

Then why did he feel so upset that Myungjun smoked?

Once he was certain Myungjun had gone back to the counter, Dongmin quickly reached inside his backpack. It was neatly organized, folders and binders keeping control of his enormous stash of papers, and he hardly had to scrounge around before finding what he needed.

It was his lengthy and wordy paper concerning the dangers of smoking. He knew he had done a superb job, if the _A_ grade on top was anything to go by, and it was a paper chock full of facts and references. After reading this, Myungjun would probably never even look at a cigarette again.

So Dongmin took a deep breath, and then followed the barista back to the counter. When Myungjun saw him, he smiled brightly. “Need a refill?”

Dongmin didn't say a word. He simply passed his paper over to Myungjun, who took it in confusion. “What's this?” he asked, looking down at the title. “ _Cigarette Smoking and its Consequences_? Wow, what a title.”

Dongmin cleared his throat. “I couldn't help but notice that you do smoke, and I just wanted to make sure you understand the dangers that can come-”

“You got an A on this?” Myungjun interrupted. Dongmin felt a twinge of irritation, as it seemed Myungjun was hardly paying attention to his words. “You seemed like a more studious sort.”

Was _that_ what Myungjun was upset over? Dongmin frowned. “That's near perfect, though.”

“ _Near_ perfect,” Myungjun repeated. “Not _perfect_. Just _near_. How do you expect me to trust something that isn't completely perfect?” The barista raised his eyebrows and glanced up at Dongmin. “Like, I can trust your face, but I guess I can't trust the words that come out of your mouth, because they're not _quite_ at perfection, according to your professor.”

Dongmin was almost speechless, but he was known for his quick recovery skills, and he pointed at his grade. “It was the highest grade in the class.”

“I've gotten an A _plus_ before. Multiple times. If I give you _my_ assignments, I think you'd be a little embarrassed to have shown me _this_.” Myungjun flipped through the document and sighed. “Also, mine had pictures, which makes it a lot more exciting.”

Myungjun was certainly an interesting character, and when he looked up at Dongmin again, Dongmin realized that he really couldn't deny the attraction he was feeling right at that moment.

It took him a few seconds to clarify the muddled thoughts in his brain. “Yes, but I don't peg you as a nursing student, and I do hope you realize that my papers must be a lot different than yours.”

“Probably. I'm an art student. What do I know?”

“I didn't mean to imply you were not _intelligent_.” Dongmin wanted to hit himself. He really shouldn't have said anything. “I just...I thought I would try to help-”

“Tell you what-” Myungjun passed the paper back to Dongmin and tapped at the grade. “I can't read this if it isn't perfect. _If_ you fix this up and make it an absolutely _perfect_ paper, with your professor re-grading it and everything, then I'll read it and make an effort.”

Dongmin blinked. “You...what?”

Myungjun giggled, and Dongmin's heart raced slightly at the sound. “I said that I'll read your paper if you make it perfect. I'm a perfect person, and so I can only read something as perfect as me.”

“You're perfect save for the smoking,” Dongmin blurted out, and he would have ran and hid for saying something so rude and insensitive, but then Myungjun was laughing again.

“ _Near_ perfect, then. And to become _true_ perfect, I think I need a paper that is _also_ true perfect.”

Dongmin swallowed nervously and slowly took his paper back from Myungjun. “So you're telling me that you'll think about quitting if I revise this entire thing while still working on all the other work for this semester, and then I have to get my professor to be willing to give me a whole new grade on an assignment I had completed a full year ago?”

Myungjun shrugged, then nodded his head.

And Dongmin didn't know what immature part of his brain was suddenly attached to stupidity and the good looks of Myungjun, but it was that part that made him blurt out, “Deal.” He held out a hand, eyes serious as he stared at Myungjun.

Myungjun's smile vanished, and the boy looked shocked that Dongmin had so readily agreed. “Really? You're actually going to do it?”

“If it makes you healthy, then yes.”

Myungjun hesitated before linking hands with Dongmin and solidifying their agreement with a shake. “Alright, then,” he muttered, and Dongmin caught a slight flash of affection cross Myungjun's face before the grin took over again. “I think I got myself into a situation here.”

Dongmin had gotten himself into a situation the moment he had caught sight of Myungjun, and as he exited the cafe, the stress settled in.

This was going to be really bad for his already sleepless nights.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i found this prompt on tumblr - “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under you saucer” AU - and i've thought about it for a while and i feel pretty satisfied with what i came up with. 
> 
> idk much about the dangers of smoking, and i don't care too much, but send me your lengthy papers anyway [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


	2. okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this your weird way of flirting with someone?" Bin asked. "Giving them one of your old assignments?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should be getting ready for work but lol, fanfic > work. (im lying, i just preordered two winter dream albums, i need more money now)

As much as he reread his paper concerning the dangers of smoking, Dongmin really could not understand why it hadn't received a _perfect_ grade. There were no marks from his professor, no comments written on the inside, and yet it was simply _near_ perfect. Dongmin had been confident in turning it in, too, with the knowledge that he had done as much research as one possibly could on such an assignment.

“Bin,” he called out, stepping into his roommate's room and knocking on the door to announce his entry. “Bin, I need a favor.”

“Yeah?” Bin sat up straight in bed and pulled the headphones out of his ears. “What's up?”

If anybody could give solid advice on how to fix a paper, it was probably Bin. He was a law student and was the top in his class, even if Dongmin hardly ever saw him doing work at their shared apartment. Still, from all the papers Bin proudly showed off, Dongmin was well aware that Bin was something similar to a law student prodigy. Surely he would be able to fix any mistakes in Dongmin's paper.

“I need you to read over this for me,” Dongmin said, and he passed the essay over to his friend. “I'm trying to make it absolutely perfect, but I really can't figure out why it's not _already_ perfect.”

Bin blinked and glanced down at the paper in his hands, eyes scanning the title. “If you think it's perfect, then you know it's already perfect.”

“I didn't receive a hundred on it,” Dongmin admitted. “And I was confused when I first got it back, but I happened to pick it up again the other day, and now I'm still confused.”

“It's from last year. Is it really bugging you that much?” Bin flipped to the first page.

“I was going to give it to someone, but they don't want it unless it has a perfect score.”

Bin smiled, the same, crooked smile he had been doing since Dongmin first met him when they had become next-door neighbors at the age of six. Bin had declared them to be instant friends and they had hardly been apart since.

Dongmin trusted Bin completely, and he hoped that Bin would be able to fix the imperfections for him.

“Is this your weird way of flirting with someone? Giving them one of your old assignments?”

“What? No!” Dongmin huffed lightly and crossed his arms over his chest. “He works at that cafe I visit a lot. He's...he smokes, so I-”

“Okay, so it's you being weird and flirting with him.”

Dongmin wondered if it suddenly just became hot in the room. It sure did feel like it. “It's _not_ flirting,” he defended.

“Sure.” Bin waved off Dongmin's denial. “Let me finish reading this, lover boy.”

Dongmin would have continued to defend himself if not for the fact that he would much rather have Bin actually help him. Bin wouldn't get anywhere if Dongmin stood there and kept arguing about his personal affections (which he had none of for Myungjun, it was a lapse of judgment, and he was simply concerned with the health of all the other workers at the cafe if they had to be around a man who smoked, that was the only reason he was interested), so he nodded his head and left the room.

He busied himself with making dinner for the two of them, as a way of thanking Bin for helping him out. However, it didn't take nearly as long as he thought it would for Bin to read and revise his paper. Ten minutes had passed and Bin was suddenly by his side, placing the essay down on one of the counters.

“Well?” Dongmin asked.

“It's perfect,” Bin responded.

Dongmin set down the bowl of kimchi and flipped through his assignment. Oddly enough, it was the exact same. “You didn't mark where the imperfections are.”

“That's because there _are_ none.”

“What?” Dongmin's head shot up and he stared at Bin with wide eyes. “Of course there are! I didn't have a hundred on this paper, which makes it _not_ perfect.”

Bin shrugged his shoulders. “You should've taken it up with the professor who graded it, Dongmin, because I literally cannot find a single mistake. I mean, it's as flawless as all of the other assignments you've turned in over the years.”

Dongmin's mind was racing for answers. Why would the professor not actually give him a perfect score if it _was_ a perfect paper?

“I'm sure the guy you're giving this to will appreciate it as it is,” Bin continued. “I mean, if he's into being told that he should quit smoking, then sure.”

“He told me he wouldn't read it unless it had a perfect score,” Dongmin mumbled, and he wished he could burn this paper and forget he ever spoke to Myungjun in the first place.

“It _should_.” Bin gave Dongmin's shoulder a pat.

“Apparently the professor didn't think so. I have to revise _something_ on it. It needs to be fixed.”

“You can't perfect something that's already perfect.”

Bin's words stuck with Dongmin all throughout their dinner and throughout the time Dongmin _should_ have been sleeping, and up until the early morning hours when his alarm finally pulled him out of his thoughts. Was there really no way to make his paper perfect?

Perhaps Myungjun would understand. In any case, Dongmin would explain the circumstance and _hope_ that Myungjun would still give the paper a chance.

If not, though, Dongmin had something else in his backpack he could use. With solid determination to have Myungjun quit his smoking habit, Dongmin dressed and hurried to the coffee shop.

Once more, hardly anyone was there, and he was pleased to see Myungjun's bright, grinning face at the cash register. “Good morning!” the older boy greeted, and Dongmin might have imagined it, but Myungjun's voice seemed more cheery than it did when he greeted Dongmin the other day. At least Dongmin's persistence hadn't run Myungjun off just yet.

“G-Good morning,” Dongmin responded, bowing his head lightly. “Ah, I'll just have the regular.”

He meant to repeat his regular, because he had no doubt that Myungjun had forgotten, but then Myungjun rattled off the order: “Medium coffee and a plain bagel, right?”

Dongmin stared for a bit longer than necessary before catching himself and nodding his head. “Right. Yes, sorry, I just had a lot on my mind.”

“Mm.” Myungjun grabbed a cup from the stack near his register. “Have you been revising that paper?”

He looked excited, almost, and his excitement seemed to fall when Dongmin shook his head. “I actually looked it over and discovered that it doesn't _need_ revisions.”

“Obviously it does, if your professor didn't give it that high of a grade.”

“But it was a high grade, and I even had my roommate look over it, and _he_ said it's perfect.”

“But the grade isn't.” Myungjun was filling up Dongmin's cup of coffee.

Dongmin truly wanted to ask why Myungjun was being difficult, but he didn't want to start a fight with the guy he may or may not be crushing on.

“If you would just give it a chance, though-”

Myungjun popped a lid on the cup of coffee and passed it over to Dongmin before grabbing metal tongs. “I told you, not until it's regraded. If you think it's that perfect, take it up with the professor. Something _must_ be wrong with it for him to have decided you didn't need a hundred.”

Myungjun grabbed the bagel with the tongs and put it in a thin bag, then handed that over to Dongmin as well. “There you go!”

Dongmin frowned lightly, and before leaving the counter, he pulled his backpack around to his front and reached in for his last resort packet. It wasn't his, but it _was_ an official publication by his university. Surely Myungjun would have to admit that an official publication was perfect. “Here,” he stated, and held it in front of him for Myungjun to look at. “This was one of the resources I used for my own paper. It doesn't go into as much detail as what I did, but it still has information about how dangerous smoking is for your lungs.”

Myungjun blinked before reaching up and grabbing the packet away from Dongmin. “Geez, you're really determined, aren't you?” he asked. “I didn't want _this_ , though. I wanted your paper.”

“This packet is perfect.”

“But it isn't your own words. It's the words of someone I don't know, someone who doesn't give a shit about _me_ , since he's never even met me.” Myungjun grinned and Dongmin wondered if Myungjun had ever blinded people with how bright his grin was. “So thanks, but I might pass.”

Dongmin glanced behind him to ensure no other customers had appeared in line, and then mumbled, “Then why do you want to read _my_ paper so bad?”

“I don't. You're the one forcing it on me.” Myungjun giggled, and the sound was melodious to Dongmin's ears. His heart hammered in his chest as Myungjun leaned forward slightly.

Myungjun's eyes were dark and framed with long eyelashes.

Myungjun was beautiful.

“Besides, you seem _very_ concerned with my habit, and it's actually a little refreshing to have somebody care so much about me.”

“I would do this to anybody.”

Myungjun's expression clearly displayed his disbelief, but the words weren't true, anyway. Dongmin had come across many people who smoked, but Myungjun was the one he actually made an effort with. “Sure,” Myungjun responded. “I think you might be biting off more than you can chew here, though. It's very difficult to stop smoking once you pick it up.”

Dongmin wouldn't know. “When did you start?”

“Me? Really not that long ago. It's a whole stress thing. I know I'm _just_ an art student, and you probably do much more important work than I do, but I can get just as stressed. And someone once offered me a cigarette and it calmed me down, and I got a little addicted to sticking it in my mouth whenever my stress levels raised just a _tiny_ bit.”

Dongmin thought back to all the research he had done on smoking, and realized he hadn't spent much time figuring out how people could _quit_ smoking. Still, he remembered a few articles he had read about finding replacements for cigarettes, so he blurted out, “You need to stick something else in your mouth whenever your stress levels raise.”

Myungjun's eyebrows shot up and his ears turned red. “That sounds lewd.”

“What?” Dongmin repeated his words in his mind, then slapped a hand over his mouth. “N-No, no, not like that! I didn't mean it like _that_! I just meant that maybe getting a little addicted to something else you can stick-”

Myungjun was giggling again, though he sounded nervous and his cheeks were growing just as red as his ears. “I get it, I get it, you're just ruining your perfect-boy image the more you talk.”

Dongmin felt terribly embarrassed, and he collected his coffee and bagel before stepping away from the counter. “I have to go,” he announced, a little loudly, and he wasn't sure if he could ever show his face to Myungjun again. “If...if you'd like, you can read that packet, and I'll figure out how to perfect my paper.”

“Right.” Myungjun cleared his throat, and Dongmin suddenly realized just how flustered Myungjun had actually become from Dongmin's words. It was a little intriguing, and Dongmin would have really liked to figure out _why_ Myungjun was suddenly blushing up a storm, but he was also more interested in getting out of the cafe before he made an even greater fool of himself. “I'll see you later, then- wait, what's your name? It was on the paper you gave me before, but I don't-”

“Dongmin. Lee, um, Lee Dongmin.” He hoped Myungjun didn't think he was an idiot.

By the soft smile that suddenly fell across Myungjun's lips, however, Dongmin didn't believe that was the case. “Dongmin. Right. See you later, then?”

Dongmin could only nod his head before scurrying out the door, nearly spilling his coffee as he did so.

His heart was beating loudly in his chest and he couldn't get his mind off of Myungjun.

_Okay_ , he thought. _I'm falling in love with a smoking barista._

And he was finding that it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would have.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember children, smoking = bad for your health. astro = good for your health. astro's just more expensive i think, so make your decision.
> 
> send me dollar bills to replenish my bank account [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com).


	3. good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was about to agree to go on a date with a smoking art student who worked in a cafe. He was about to agree to go on a date with the exact sort of character he had constantly avoided. His parents would be devastated if they found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actually having so much fun writing this, ignore how much i update, i do have a life sometimes

Despite having made an absolute fool of himself in front of Myungjun, Dongmin still wanted to see him again. He tried to claim to himself that it was solely to curb the boy's smoking habit, but the more he mapped out ideas, the more he found himself doodling little hearts in the edges of his notebooks, thus ruining the perfection of his organized, doodle-free notes.

He didn't know Myungjun had turned him into a teenage girl. However, he couldn't even find it in himself to get upset over the fact that he had fallen head-over-heels. From the interactions he had exchanged with Myungjun, he was at least semi-confident that Myungjun might actually feel the exact same way about him.

Regardless of how imperfect Myungjun appeared to be, Dongmin really _liked_ Myungjun, and he really hoped that the barista liked him back.

When he visited the cafe the next morning, his heart hammered with anticipation. In his hands was another pamphlet, this one concerning the dangers of second-hand smoking. Myungjun most likely wouldn't accept this, either, but Dongmin had a short speech prepared to give the words more importance, and Myungjun actually might be interested.

Unfortunately, it wasn't Myungjun behind the counter.

“Oh, hello, Dongmin!” Jinwoo greeted instead, smiling widely at him. “The usual?”

Dongmin hesitated for a few seconds before nodding his head quickly. “Yes, please,” he murmured, and he stuffed the pamphlet in his back pocket, with little regard as to how wrinkled it might become. If Myungjun wasn't there to read it, there wasn't much of a point in having it out, in any case, and he didn't want Jinwoo to catch on.

Jinwoo was getting the order ready as Dongmin stood there silently, struggling to come up with mentioning Myungjun's whereabouts casually.

“I've met the new hire. He's rather short.”

Jinwoo shrugged his shoulders. “He claims he isn't, though.”

Dongmin kept his eyes located on the movement of Jinwoo's hands as his coffee was prepared. “He worked for the previous two mornings I had come in.”

“We were overstaffed for the week and the manager gave him some time off, if you're wondering where he went.” Jinwoo smirked and finished off the coffee. “You don't have to beat around the bush. Besides that, he gave me a note to pass off to you, so if you're wondering whether or not you made a good impression on him, I think you did.”

Jinwoo handed over the cup, along with a folded sheet of notebook paper, and reached to grab the bagel.

Normally, Dongmin would have stayed and chatted with Jinwoo for a minute or two before taking his usual seat, but the note in his hand had his heart racing. Myungjun cared enough to leave him a _note_? And who even knew what this note contained – perhaps Myungjun was professing his love, perhaps he was leaving his number.

(Dongmin's inner pessimist brought up the fact that it _could_ be a 'leave me alone' sort of note, and after Dongmin's accidental, lewd statement the other day, he couldn't say that he would be surprised.)

Once the bagel was prepared, Dongmin hurriedly thanked Jinwoo and then rushed to his spot near the window. The coffee and bagel were both forgotten, pushed aside in order for Dongmin to open up the note.

Myungjun's handwriting was basically a scribbled mess, but there were hearts doodled inside, very similar to the ones that Dongmin found himself making on all of his schoolwork.

_If you have time, meet me in front of the coffee shop around 5:30 this evening. I think you owe me dinner for saying weird stuff to me._

Dongmin didn't even mind that Myungjun was going to make him pay for this random, impromptu outing, because at least it meant that Myungjun wasn't running away from him.

But was it a date? Dongmin had yet to ask if Myungjun was interested in men, let alone interested in _him_ , so was this really a date? Maybe Myungjun just wanted to be friends, and was using Dongmin's obvious infatuation for a chance to gain a free meal.

If that was the case, Dongmin found that he still didn't really care all that much. At the very least, Myungjun was interested in eating with him and continuing some form of relationship, and whether it was going to be platonic or romantic, Dongmin was thrilled with the chance to see Myungjun more often than ten minutes in the morning.

He normally would have been studying in the library come 5 o'clock, but his excitement rendered him unable to focus on much of anything. Instead, Dongmin spent an hour after his class choosing what outfit to wear and cursing the fact that Bin had a lecture to attend and couldn't help him with his fashion woes.

A simple button up shirt and dress slacks seemed good enough. Myungjun had never made it clear where exactly they would be going, but if Dongmin was going to pay, he hoped that he would be able to make the decision for somewhere a little fancier than what lay around the coffee shop.

He left his apartment early, filled with a sort of giddy, child-like enthusiasm he hadn't felt in such a long period of time. He noticed an extra bounce to his step, and it was growing increasingly difficult to hide the grin he was sure had been pasted onto his face.

As he neared the coffee shop and caught sight of the short, brown-haired figure standing out in front, he felt his smile grow – but then he noticed the cigarette hanging out of the figure's mouth, and he stopped suddenly in his tracks.

He hadn't brought any of his pamphlets, and he certainly hadn't been revising his paper, but some part of his mind had been hopeful that Myungjun would just give up smoking instantly in order to endear himself to Dongmin. After all, Dongmin had made it clear that he hated the habit, found it deplorable, and yet Myungjun was still doing it?

Dongmin had to remind himself, though, that he wasn't even dating Myungjun yet. They hadn't exchanged confessions, and Dongmin didn't even know if Myungjun was into him in the same manner that Dongmin was into _him_.

Myungjun's eyes had been scanning around, and when he caught sight of Dongmin, he waved, a light smile coming on his face. His hands came up to pull the cigarette from his lips, and he walked over to where Dongmin was frozen. “You're early!” he announced, and puffs of smoke escaped his mouth and wafted their way to Dongmin's face.

Dongmin's nose scrunched up in displeasure. Myungjun watched the change of expressions rather curiously before realizing the culprit was his own habit, and he grinned apologetically. “Sorry,” he muttered, and he snuffed the cigarette out under his heel. “I don't even think about it sometimes.”

“Are you stressed?” Dongmin recalled Myungjun mentioning how he would become stressed and quickly stick one of the cigarettes in his mouth.

“Maybe? A little bit.” Myungjun cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He smelled strongly of the cigarette smoke, and Dongmin would have recoiled away had it not been _Myungjun_ standing there.

Dongmin really liked him, and he wondered if he could ever come to accept the fact that it didn't seem like Myungjun would quit smoking.

“Is it school?” Dongmin asked, hoping to keep up their casual conversation and thus draw attention away from the fact that he still felt a little grossed out from the stench.

Myungjun shrugged his shoulders and suddenly looked up at Dongmin in relief. “I'm glad you came! Jinwoo was the most reliable employee I could think of to give my note to. Sanha would have probably dropped it in coffee, and Minhyuk thinks love is gross, so he would have laughed.”

Dongmin blinked. “Love?”

It seemed that Myungjun realized his mistake, and the older boy began to turn red, splotches of crimson appearing across his tanned cheeks. It was absolutely, utterly precious, and Dongmin watched Myungjun with interest.

“What? Not what I meant, I, um, I meant – he would think it's love, since it's a note and all, with hearts – it seems very weird, I know, very romantic, but it isn't, not really.”

“Isn't this a date?” Dongmin asked. He could only watch Myungjun flounder pathetically for so long, and while it was cute, he would also very much appreciate it if they would step past their awkward relationship and delve into something a little more concrete.

Myungjun's eyes widened. “A date?”

“I just...assumed-” Dongmin bit his lip. “If not, that's perfectly fine. I don't mind a meeting between acquaintances-”

“Acquaintances?”

“Stop repeating everything I say, because when you say it, I'm reminded how dumb I sound.” Dongmin squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. He really was an idiot.

Myungjun took a second or two to respond. “Can it be a date? I had kind of _wanted_ it to be one, but I wasn't sure – are you okay with that?”

He was about to agree to go on a date with a smoking art student who worked in a cafe. He was about to agree to go on a date with the exact sort of character he had constantly avoided.

There was something about _Myungjun_ , something about his infectious smile and his high-pitched giggles and his personality and his warm eyes – something about Myungjun made Dongmin forget all of his previous plans for his future.

His parents would be devastated if they found out.

Still, Dongmin nodded, and he was unable to hide the smile flirting with his lips. Myungjun noticed, and he was grinning again.

“Sushi?” Myungjun asked.

“If I'm the one paying, how come you get to choose?”

“I'll let Jinwoo know _exactly_ what you told me the other day. Remember? _Why don't you stick something_ -”

“Sushi sounds delicious.”

Myungjun giggled and then held out a hand. Dongmin regarded the hand with slight hesitation before reaching out and taking it. Fingers curled around his own, tight but still gentle, and Dongmin wondered if Myungjun's heart was beating just as loudly as his own was.

“I didn't think you'd agree to go on a date with me,” Myungjun murmured as they walked. “I think you seemed real adamant about the whole _smoking_ thing.”

Dongmin shrugged his shoulders. His other hand went in his pocket. “Oh, I still think I am. I've always been quite outspoken against smoking in general.”

“Is there a reason? Like, a personal reason? Usually people have personal reasons for writing really long essays about the dangers of smoking.”

“For me? No. I just did enough research on the subject and think it's...” He wasn't quite certain how to word his sentence without managing to offend Myungjun, and his tongue darted across his lips. “I think it's...bad for you?”

“Of course it is. Killing off my poor lungs.” Myungjun's free hand clutched at his own shirt and he made a mock sound of choking. “Dongmin, I'm dying, save me!”

“Quit it.” Dongmin rolled his eyes, though he now wore an amused grin. “You said you only picked it up a short time ago, so I actually think it might be more simple for you to quit, as opposed to someone who's been smoking for a long time.”

Myungjun nodded his head and seemed to have finished teasing Dongmin. “What if I don't quit? Will we still be able to do stuff like this?”

“Dates?”

“Yeah. Dates. Hand-holding. You staring at me like I'm the most perfect creature in the world.”

“I don't do that.”

The smaller boy gave a snort. “Whatever. I know you do. I've seen you stare before.” He waved off any other objections to that fact that Dongmin was about to make. “What if I don't quit, though? What then?”

Dongmin had to formulate a response in his head before opening his mouth. “I would appreciate it if you quit.”

“I asked what would happen if I _didn't_ quit.”

Dongmin squeezed Myungjun's hand lightly. “I'd prefer to enjoy tonight, at the very least.”

Myungjun stared at him, and behind the warmth in those bright eyes, Dongmin could see something more serious, some emotion he couldn't pinpoint exactly – determination, perhaps, motivation, maybe. Whatever it was, it was intriguing, but then Myungjun grinned widely.

“I know _I'm_ going to enjoy tonight, what with you paying for all the sushi I'll be eating.”

Dongmin couldn't help the light giggle that left his mouth.

For right now, he decided, dating Myungjun would be good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will he ever quit smoking??? will dongmin get an A+ on the paper he wrote a year ago??? did that pamphlet really get wrinkled in dongmin's back pocket??? idk if we'll find out because i suck at planning in advance, but stick with me fellow astro fans.
> 
> also send me dollar bills [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com) so i can buy chocolate


	4. amazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wondered if, before he told Myungjun he wanted to stop dating, he would be able to try the kiss once more, just to see what Myungjun's lips would feel like against his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the _drama_. the slight _angst_. the _bad writing_.

“You didn't _kiss him_?”

Bin hit Dongmin with the pillow he had been hugging and complained, “You've been working so hard to win this guy's heart and you _didn't kiss him_?!”

“Hey, stop it!” Dongmin tried to shield himself with his hands, scooting a little further away from Bin on the couch. So much for filling Bin in on all the juicy details. He had no idea his best friend was this interested in his love life. “Why on earth would I kiss him?”

“Because he stood on his tip-toes and puckered his lips at you, _that's_ why!” Bin snatched his pillow back and returned it to his chest, embracing it once again. “God, you built it all up, too. _He was dropping me off and suddenly grabbed my wrist and stood on his tip-toes and his lips were puckered_ \- and then you just _pushed his forehead_.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Dongmin whined.

“Kiss him? Oh my god, I can't believe this.” Bin fell back on the couch as if _he_ was the one who had gotten his kiss rejected. “I can't believe my best friend in the whole world is an absolute _moron_ who rejects kisses from the guy he's been crushing on.”

Dongmin was certain his face was just as red now as it was when he had stammered out an apology to Myungjun and ran inside his apartment. Bin was right; he _was_ a moron. “In my defense-”

“Don't even say that. You have no defense for rejecting a first kiss.”

“ _In my defense_ ,” Dongmin tried again, and when Bin didn't cut in this time, he continued. “In my defense, he probably tastes like cigarette smoke.”

“Cigarette-? Oh my _god_ -” Bin lightly kicked at Dongmin and then huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You had the chance and you just completely ignored it. Who knows when he'll try and kiss you again? You probably ruined his confidence!”

Dongmin brought his legs up under him and played with his fingers. “Ah, well – I think that first date might be our only one, anyway.”

“Yeah, after you rejected him.”

“No, because I don't want to date him if he continues to smoke.”

Bin groaned and his arms moved up to fall across his face. “A mutual attraction and you end it over smoking. Look, Dongminnie, I know you're totally the poster child for the whole anti-smoking movement across the globe, but not everyone is going to think the same way. You like him, he likes you, what more do you want? From the way you gushed about your date with him, he sounds perfect!”

“He's _near_ perfect,” Dongmin responded quietly. “I just can't get over the smoking. I like him, but he's made it clear that he's not going to quit, really. I'm still going to try to convince him,” he added, upon hearing Bin groan again, “but I really don't expect him to actually give up smoking just for me.”

“If he likes you, he might.”

Dongmin shrugged. He doubted it. Myungjun hadn't made an effort to stop when he knew Dongmin was meeting up with him in the first place. And maybe he _had_ seemed a little ashamed when Dongmin brought it up, but his constant joking and dodging anything having to do with discussions of the consequences of smoking simply led Dongmin to believe that the relationship was doomed from the start.

He didn't expect that thought to bother him as much as it did. All throughout his classes the next day, he pondered how exactly he and Myungjun could mutually break it up – and if he would even be satisfied to break it all up. His date had gone amazingly well, and part of him regretted not actually kissing Myungjun when he had the chance to.

He wondered if, before he told Myungjun he wanted to stop dating, he would be able to try the kiss once more, just to see what Myungjun's lips would feel like against his own.

He doodled hearts in the corner of his notes again, then realized what he was doing when a few classmates noticed and shot him confused looks. Quickly, he scribbled out his hearts and kept his eyes to the front of the class, where the lecturer was speaking in the usual, monotone voice.

How was he even supposed to break up with a guy who made this much of an impact on him? He really didn't think it would be possible. Maybe if he just never went to that particular cafe again.

That would be his best option, but that would also entail never again seeing Jinwoo or Minhyuk or Sanha. He liked the employees there the best.

Maybe he should frequent it at times when he knew Myungjun wouldn't be there – but there was still the slight possibility of running into him at one point or another.

The only other option he could think of was explaining it to Myungjun face-to-face, but he was certain he would want to go out on a second date if he looked the barista in the eyes.

Part of him thought maybe he should just suck it up and deal with the smoking habit, but he didn't want to compromise his own beliefs for an attractive man. That was weak, wasn't it? That was him falling in love and giving up parts of his life he had already planned out completely.

He hardly noticed it when class ended, only being brought back to reality by one of the other nursing students patting his back. “Hey, Dongmin, we're going to grab some food before the study session. Can you join us?”

Food and friends would possibly give him something else to think about, and Dongmin eagerly nodded his head. “Of course,” he responded, and once he was packed, they left the building. A few of them made small talk together, but Dongmin trudged along beside in silence, mind searching for more than just two options of how to break up with Myungjun.

He heard his name being called out, once more breaking him from his thoughts, but he realized it couldn't have come from any of his friends. It was a voice just a little further away, a voice he had never heard on campus before, a voice that didn't belong to any of his fellow classmates. Besides that, all of his classmates were stopped and were staring out across the street.

Dongmin, too, looked over, and was shocked to see Myungjun. A cigarette hung from his mouth, and in one of his hands was a cup of coffee from the cafe. He was waving with his free hand, waiting for the crosswalk light to turn green and allow him to come over to Dongmin's side.

Dongmin's heart raced at first, but then one of his classmates nudged him. “You know that kid?”

He glanced over at the classmate. How was he even supposed to answer _that_? He could feel the judgmental gazes from all three of the other boys and he suddenly remembered that _he_ was the biggest anti-smoker any of them knew.

He had once promised to never associate with smokers.

“He works at a cafe I visit sometimes,” was Dongmin's reply, and he wished the ground would open up and swallow him.

Myungjun waved again, and then suddenly made a finger heart. Dongmin felt an immense rush of both affection and embarrassment as the other boys laughed. Why did Myungjun have to come out _now_? Why was he even _here_? He had no reason to be over where all the health and science buildings were, did he?

“He seems to _really_ like you!” a classmate jeered. “Are you dating a smoker, Dongmin?”

“No,” came Dongmin's instant and defensive reply, and he cleared his throat and gestured down the sidewalk the boys were currently walking on. “Let's just grab lunch. We don't have that long before our study session begins.” Besides that, it looked as if the crosswalk light was about to turn green. If Myungjun rushed over here, Dongmin's little act would be up. People would know that golden child Lee Dongmin was dating a barista who smoked. His parents would somehow find out. Everyone would know, and Dongmin felt like his skills would be completely discredited. If he couldn't even get the guy he liked to quit smoking, how would he be able to help anyone else in the world?

“Are you sure?” another classmate asked. “He's coming over.”

Dongmin's eyes shot up to see that his friend was telling the truth. Myungjun was indeed halfway over and getting closer with each passing step. Dongmin turned away quickly. “Look, he just makes me coffee at the cafe and he _has_ shown interest in me, but would I really lower myself to date a smoker? You guys know me very well.”

They must not know him at all, though, because they nodded their heads in agreement to Dongmin's lie.

Before he could say anything else, Myungjun was there, tapping his shoulder and holding out a coffee. “Sorry I didn't work this morning,” he apologized. Dongmin's face was red and he could hear a few giggles coming from one or two of his classmates. “Jinwoo told me you didn't show up, though, so I figured I'd bring you a coffee. It's not as hot as I would like it to be, since I wasn't really sure where you were and I was wandering around for-”

“Thank you, Myungjun,” Dongmin said, and he took the coffee away gently. “I, um, I have to go out with friends, but thank you.”

Myungjun blinked and took the cigarette out of his mouth. “Ah, this is awkward, then. I was actually just about to ask if you'd like to go out to eat. Second date – on me this time?”

One of the classmates nudged him. Dongmin wanted to bury himself in the dirt and pretend he didn't exist. Myungjun was so endearing, so sweet, and Dongmin longed to readily agree, but he thought back to his dilemma earlier in the day. He refused to compromise his beliefs for Myungjun. Besides that, he refused to compromise his beliefs in front of his friends.

And with Myungjun's words, they now knew he had actually _been_ on a date with a smoker.

“Date?” Dongmin repeated, and he hated every last inch of himself.

“Yeah. You know, the thing we went on yesterday.”

Dongmin pointed at the cigarette.

“Oh!” Myungjun looked surprised, and Dongmin was wondering if he unconsciously took out cigarettes and only realized it later. “Sorry about that!” He giggled nervously, then dropped it on the sidewalk and grounded it lightly with the heel of his shoe. “Bad habit,” he offered in explanation to the other nursing students who were staring at him in interest. “So?” His attention was back on Dongmin. “Date?”

“I'm with friends,” Dongmin muttered. He hated seeing the perkiness leave Myungjun's body, but the boy hid it well behind a large smile.

“I figured! Probably should've gotten your number and asked you. I was meaning to get your number when you came by this morning, but then they scheduled me for later hours and-”

“Dongmin? Let's go.” A classmate broke through Myungjun's fast-paced talking. “I know how you feel about smokers.”

Myungjun's grin faltered, and he spared the classmate a glance but said nothing in response.

Dongmin cleared his throat. “Myungjun, I have to go-”

“How do you feel about smokers, Dongmin?” Myungjun asked suddenly. There was no warmth in his brown eyes as he stared at Dongmin.

“Thanks for the coffee.”

“No. How do you feel about smokers?” Myungjun repeated. He seemed anxious for a response, and Dongmin had no way of coming up with one.

A classmate spoke instead. “He hates them!”

It was silent for a few seconds and Dongmin kept his eyes on the ground.

“Oh, of course,” Myungjun replied. He still sounded bright, but Dongmin couldn't bring himself to look up at his face. “So how do you feel about _me_ , Dongmin? You hate me, too? I smoke, so if we're going by the logic of the fine nursing friends you have, you hate me, as well. Right?”

“I don't hate anyone.”

“Do you hate smokers, Dongmin?” Myungjun asked.

Dongmin didn't respond and he could hear Myungjun give a loud sigh. “Dongmin, you hate smokers, right?”

“He does.” Once more, a classmate spoke for him, and Dongmin wished today had never even occurred.

“So he hates me?” Myungjun had turned to the classmates for answers to his inquiries. “That's weird, because I could've _sworn_ he didn't hate me during our date last night.”

A classmate laughed, loudly and obnoxiously, and patted Dongmin's shoulder. “And we could've sworn he said that he wouldn't lower himself to date-”

Dongmin took action then, spinning around to angrily face his classmates. “Why on _earth_ would you say that?” he snapped. They looked a little shocked at his sudden irritation, but it was nothing to the shock that was evident on Myungjun's face when Dongmin looked back over at him.

“Myungjun-”

Myungjun's response was to smack the coffee out of Dongmin's hands. Dongmin didn't even try to stop it from tumbling to the ground, contents spilling out across their shoes. The nursing students fussed and complained and stepped away from the liquid, but Dongmin accepted it.

It seemed pretty weak for a punishment. Myungjun should probably slap him, too, but it didn't appear as if that was going to happen. Instead, the older boy simply reached into his pockets and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

“Sorry, Dongmin, that you had to _lower_ yourself to go out with me.” His voice was shaky, and one of the cigarettes was stuck in his mouth. “I'll know better than to force you to hang out with me once more.”

He turned and started to walk away. Dongmin caught sight of a lighter, and it appeared to take Myungjun a few tries to properly light the cigarette. Dongmin saw how much his hands were trembling, and suddenly realized that Myungjun was probably crying and upset.

Why wouldn't he be? After Dongmin's harsh words were out in the open, why wouldn't Myungjun cry?

“Yikes.” A classmate gave a low whistle. “Sorry, Dongmin, but he _is_ a smoker, and you're basically the epitome of perfection when it comes to health. It's probably for the best, isn't it?”

He wished he was actually perfect. Someone who was actually perfect wouldn't treat Myungjun like garbage in front of his friends. He was reminded of his paper, of the _near_ -perfection he had achieved, of being short somehow of reaching actual perfection.

He wasn't perfect at all.

“I don't feel well,” he mumbled. “I'm just going to go lay down. I'll catch up on the study session tomorrow. Sorry.” He wasn't sure why _he_ was the one apologizing, but he couldn't bring himself to ask any of his classmates to issue out apologies. That would mean admitting he was absolutely, completely, _utterly_ infatuated with Myungjun.

But he was, and as he hurried off to catch the bus to take him back to his apartment, he felt like crying. Myungjun had been nothing but amazing to him, and this was how Dongmin treated him in return?

He did end up crying when he arrived in his room and collapsed on his bed.

He had longed for a third option for breaking up with Myungjun, but as his mind drifted back to the shock and the hurt on Myungjun's face, he wished he had never wanted to break up with him at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things will be good in the end though. just needed this mess to further my plot. which is a very dumb, flimsy plot, but there is a plot. :)
> 
> come send me dolla bills [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com) to help me add more cute. <3


	5. near perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myungjun tasted like cigarette smoke and vanilla coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should be sleeping bc i have to wake up early tomorrow but lol what is work compared to fanfics???

Apologizing profusely seemed like Dongmin's best option after completely ruining things with Myungjun. However, he wasn't even sure how to go about his apology. He had agonized over what he should say all night, and when the sun was just starting to rise, he realized he had gotten very little sleep due to his guilt. It kept him up throughout the night, gnawing away and constantly repeating those words that Myungjun had unfortunately heard; _I wouldn't lower myself to date him_.

He cursed his friends and Myungjun's untimely arrival and smoking in general. Mostly, though, he cursed himself for actually having said such a thing. He never meant it, but Myungjun didn't know that.

Even if Myungjun _did_ know, would Myungjun forgive him for putting him down in front of friends and classmates? Would Myungjun forgive him for being so weak that he couldn't even stand up for their relationship?

As he headed to the coffee shop, bags under his eyes and clothes a little wrinkled, he could only pray and hope for Myungjun's forgiveness.

Of course, upon opening the door and falling under the sudden glare of the usually-happy Myungjun, Dongmin realized that it wasn't going to be as easy as he longed for it to be.

He stood at the door for a few seconds before trudging up to the counter, keeping his eyes downcast. He could feel Myungjun's stare boring a hole through him. He accepted that punishment. He would accept even greater punishment, as long as it meant Myungjun would accept his forgiveness in the end.

“What can I get for you today?” Myungjun asked, words laced with venom. Dongmin winced and cleared his throat.

“The usual.”

“And what's that?”

“Myungjun, seriously, I come here all the time-”

“And I wouldn't _lower myself_ to figure out the order of an asshole,” Myungjun snapped.

Dongmin hated the emotional pain that was coursing through his body. He hated the sudden need to run and cry and he hated the small bout of irritation _he_ felt from being treated in such a manner. He _deserved_ it, he had to remind himself. He deserved anything that Myungjun would lash out at him.

“Medium coffee and a bagel.”

Myungjun entered in the order and took the payment. Nothing more was spoken as the coffee was prepped. Dongmin found that this situation was hopeless. He should never have expected Myungjun to suddenly accept him again and declare everything to be fine.

But he could still _try_ to get that to happen.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized. Myungjun didn't stop at all. Myungjun barely acknowledged the apology. Dongmin tried again. “Myungjun, I'm sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Myungjun finally asked, finishing with the coffee. He grabbed the bagel and stuffed it into the paper bag with much more force than necessary. “Sorry for pretending that you _weren't_ attracted to me in front of your friends? Sorry for telling those same friends that you wouldn't lower yourself to date me? Is that it? Is it both of them? Did I get it right?” He passed over Dongmin's order.

“Yes,” Dongmin responded. “I'm so sorry, Myungjun. I never meant for you to hear it, I wasn't-”

“Wait.” Myungjun suddenly seemed angrier, if possible. “You _never meant for me to hear it_? Seriously, Dongmin? You're okay with telling people that you'd never date me, as long as I don't catch onto the fact that you're saying it? Once _I_ hear it, suddenly it's bad?” He seemed to be struggling not to cry, and Dongmin suddenly realized what exactly he had said.

“Not that!” he shook his head. “Seriously, Myungjun, I didn't mean it like that! I wish I could take it all back, I really do-”

“Then do it.” Myungjun crossed his arms over his chest. “Go tell those exact friends that you were an asshole and you didn't mean a word of it. Take it all back.”

Dongmin's mouth felt dry and his eyes were wide as he met with Myungjun's angry glare.

He wanted to agree, and yet the thought of admitting to dating Myungjun somehow scared him. He could lose his friends, his parents' love and support, his own personal pride – everything would be different, nothing like he had imagined and planned for his life to be, should he go through with Myungjun's idea.

Myungjun seemed to catch on to Dongmin's unwillingness to admit his affection publicly. The anger seemed to deflate, replaced instead by a look of longing and despair. “You act like you're perfect. You act better than everyone. You're not special at all, though. You're not perfect. You're not even near perfect, Dongmin.” And when Dongmin looked up to respond to those words, Myungjun shook his head. “Just go, Dongmin. I'm going to work night shifts so we'll never have to see each other again.” His hands played with the front of his apron, and Dongmin knew just how much those words he blurted out yesterday in a moment of panic appeared to have affected Myungjun. “I'm sorry for ruining your life.”

Dongmin knew he should deny Myungjun's words. He knew he should fight for Myungjun's love. However, all that came from his mouth was a second apology, a quick, “I'm sorry, Myungjun,” before he grabbed his breakfast and rushed out of the coffee shop.

He felt numb walking through campus. He felt numb and horrible and decided that he was probably the worst person on the entire planet. He couldn't find it in himself to actually show some sort of bravery, some sort of determination, and defend Myungjun. How low of a person did that make him?

He would have stewed and wallowed about in self-pity for longer, but he ran into someone and managed to knock over both his bagel and the stranger's stack of notebooks. “I'm sorry,” he apologized quietly.

“Oh, it's alright. Just pay attention next time.”

The voice was familiar, and Dongmin's head shot up.

It was his old professor.

It was the professor that never gave him quite a perfect score.

The professor seemed to notice him, too. “Oh, Dongmin! It's been such a long time. You were one of my best students. Are you still excelling in all of your classes?”

While Dongmin knew the majority of the blame for his major screw-up _did_ fall on himself, he suddenly found that he wanted to place some of the blame on this professor. After all, had his paper been perfect, he would have never gotten himself into this mess.

“Yes, sir,” he responded, and grabbed a few of the notebooks. “I have perfect scores on all of my papers.”

“Wonderful!”

“I...have a question. I've actually been wondering this for some time.” Dongmin passed over the notebooks before gathering his thoughts. He needed to make sure his tone was neither accusatory or desperate. He slipped back into his model-student persona and met his professor's eyes. “When I took your course, I wrote a paper concerning the dangers of smoking. And, sir, I was wondering why I never received a perfect score on it. I've scanned through it multiple times, but-”

“Oh, I never give out perfect scores,” the professor interrupted with a light laugh, and he patted Dongmin's shoulder. “I don't believe in perfect scores.”

That threw Dongmin off-guard, and his persona wavered. “E-Excuse me?”

“You came in a few days after the introductory class, so I'm assuming you never heard, but I don't believe _anything_ is perfect. There's always room for improvement, Dongmin.”

It was the most simple explanation for his near-perfect score that Dongmin had heard, but it was also the _worst_ possible explanation. “Sir, I think this paper, however, _is_ actually perfect. I even had my roommate read it over, and, as I mentioned before, I receive nothing but perfect scores in every other class I have.”

The professor smiled, though his gaze appeared to be condescending. “Dongmin, would you consider yourself a perfect student?”

Dongmin nodded his head. He didn't work as hard as possible to be anything less.

“Would you consider yourself a perfect person?”

Dongmin hesitated with that question. Before today, he probably would have continued to nod his head. His high GPA and popularity with his classmates was enough to ensure him that he was perfect. However, after seeing how rotten he had been to someone he found himself falling in love with, Dongmin wasn't so quick to agree. The professor caught on and snapped his fingers.

“If you're not a perfect person, how do you expect to make a perfect paper? Someone that's _near_ -perfect is unable to create something that is _actually_ perfect. It just can't be done. And since there is no such thing as a perfect human, your paper has to suffer the same fate. It's _near_ -perfect, though. It was possibly the best paper I've read in my years of teaching.”

None of it made any sense. His paper had no actual lack of perfection, then, and as he bowed to his teacher and told him _goodbye_ , he realized that his paper had been perfect all along.

Once he sat in class, however, he came under the realization that _he_ had been _imperfect_.

Myungjun had told him as such, and Dongmin had already figured it out for himself, anyway, but his pride seemed to take a complete nosedive.

He wasn't perfect, and yet he had been holding Myungjun up to his own standards. He had always thought of Myungjun being just one step below perfection – _if Myungjun gives up smoking, he will be perfect_. His thoughts of Myungjun had always seemed to end with Myungjun coming up short of Dongmin's version of perfection.

Dongmin was imperfect, though. Myungjun didn't need to meet any standards, because Dongmin was just as imperfect as Myungjun. They were imperfect in different ways, but Myungjun had been on Dongmin's level this entire time.

“Dongmin? Dongmin, why are you spacing out?” It was one of his friends, waving a hand in Dongmin's face. Dongmin blinked and tried to shake his thoughts from his brain – he wasn't able to.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Just thinking.”

“About your _boyfriend_?” Another classmate teased. “Don't worry, Dongmin. He'll die of lung cancer and you won't have to think about him again.”

There were a few giggles. Yesterday, Dongmin would have laughed as well, albeit awkwardly and with a twinge of anger inside. He never would have betrayed his perfect life to defend Myungjun.

But he didn't have a perfect life. He didn't have anything to betray, in that case. He was imperfect and in love with someone equally imperfect.

“I like thinking of him,” Dongmin responded. The laughter died down and he saw the wide-eyed stares. Dongmin didn't shy away from the controversy. “And I like _him_. And I think you were incredibly rude yesterday, and I also think I'm going to go and truly apologize, and all I want right now is for him to love me once more.” Dongmin collected his backpack. His heart was hammering as he realized this might have been the first time he was sticking up for himself. This might have been the first time, also, he was straying from his pre-determined path in life to venture into an unknown relationship. It was full of room for error and hardships, but Dongmin wasn't perfect, anyway. He could handle mistakes coming at him. He could handle things being _near-perfect_.

“You're seriously going to date a smoker?” one of the classmates questioned.

“No.” Dongmin shook his head. “I'm going to date Myungjun.”

He smiled and bowed politely to them, but they all stared. He escaped the classroom just as the professor was walking down the hallway. She called out Dongmin's name, but Dongmin didn't care to listen to her right then. He rushed off of the university campus and made his way quickly down the few short blocks it took to get to the coffee shop.

Fortunately for him, Myungjun was still working, and he looked rather shocked to see Dongmin walking into the cafe.

“Before you say anything,” Dongmin started, slightly out of breath, “I'm not perfect. I was such an asshole to you, and I hate myself for it. I hate my classmates for the way they treated you and the way they pressured me into saying what I did, but I hate myself most of all for acting like I was above you, because I'm not, and I think I'm in love with you. I really, truly think I love you, and I don't care if you smoke and I don't care if this life isn't what I had planned for myself, but I'm willing to take a chance.”

The usual chatter of customers seemed to have quieted down slightly, interested people forgoing their early morning conversations to stare at the drama unfolding in front of the counter. Myungjun's face was red and his eyes were still wide. Finally, after what seemed like an hour of waiting, Myungjun spoke. “Meet me outside,” he snapped, and then went to go speak to his coworker.

Dongmin obeyed the command, nervously bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited. It didn't take very long for Myungjun to join him, but the older boy was already sticking a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it. Dongmin didn't grimace this time. He was more disgusted with his earlier words than he would ever be disgusted with Myungjun's smoking habit.

“What the hell was that about?” Myungjun was the first to talk, voice slightly muffled as he spoke around his cigarette. “Di-Did you just profess your love for me?”

Dongmin cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Yes, well, it wasn't exactly the _ideal_ situation.”

“It was also nothing like _you_ , Mr. Prim and Proper and Perfect.”

“But I'm not. I'm not perfect, and I _did_ act above you. I'm not above you, though. I think you're above me. You're kind and nice and don't care to act high and mighty like I did.” Dongmin stared down at his shoes, pointedly ignoring Myunjun's wide-eyed gaze. “But I understand if you won't take me back. I understand completely. I just wanted to apologize from the very bottom of my heart. And I know you're not lower than me. _I'm_ lower than _you_ , so it would be rather ridiculous for you to date someone who's not nearly as amazing as you are, wouldn't it?”

He wanted to say more, to continue to ramble, but then the words stopped flowing. His throat choked up and he bit at his lips instead.

Myungjun took a long drag on his cigarette, fingers fumbling as he removed it from his lips and blew out the smoke. “I-Is that all?”

Dongmin nodded his head.

“Do...do your friends know-”

“Let's not call them friends,” Dongmin interrupted. “I don't know of any friends who would mock someone I love.”

Myungjun's response to that was to stick the cigarette back in his mouth. His cheeks were adorably flushed.

“I can leave if you'd like,” Dongmin muttered. “I, um...understand if you don't accept my apology-”

“I do accept, though.”

It was more than he had hoped for, and part of Dongmin thought he might have imagined Myungjun saying it, but Myungjun was smiling lightly, lips curled upwards and slightly parted due to the cigarette. “I...you're really throwing away your whole _anti-smoking_ routine for _me_?”

Dongmin nodded his head, and Myungjun's smile just grew even wider. He took the cigarette out of his mouth for a second time. “I'd...I'd kiss you right now, if I could, but you don't like the taste of smoke, which is fine, but I wish I could kiss you right here-”

Dongmin fulfilled Myungjun's wish. He leaned forward and gave Myungjun a kiss, capturing those plump, pink lips in his own.

Myungjun tasted like cigarette smoke and vanilla coffee.

Dongmin decided that his professor was full of shit, because if Dongmin was imperfect and if Myungjun was imperfect, then how come their kiss was beyond perfect?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i wouldn't accept the apology that fast, but i also hold grudges very easily. im petty lol. 
> 
> so now they're together for realsies this time and let's be honest, dongmin and mj are both perfect <3 i love astro im going to go cry so hard lol
> 
> follow me [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com) and send me dollar bills, i have no money.


	6. perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I keep smoking, you might develop second-hand smoke, Dongmin, and how much would that suck?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holla for a dolla, we have what i hope can be interpreted as the cuteness in this here chapter

Dongmin found that dating Myungjun certainly had a few perks, one of those being that his coffee and bagel were almost always ready to go the moment he walked into the front door of the cafe. Another perk, probably, was that Myungjun always offered him the brightest smile Dongmin had ever seen, and no matter what tasks he had coming up for the next twenty-four hours, Dongmin found that his days always seemed to go by so much quicker and easier with Myungjun's love and adoration stored away in his heart.

“Guess what?” Myungjun excitedly quizzed one day as he handed over Dongmin's order.

“Hello to you, too,” Dongmin greeted, and Myungjun grinned apologetically.

“Okay, I was going to say hey after I had told you this, _but_ -” Myungjun reached behind the counter and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. When he straightened it out, Dongmin stared down at the scribbled writing.

He had to reread it, just to ensure he wasn't losing his mind.

“ _Second-Hand Smoking_?” he read the title out loud and glanced up at Myungjun in confusion. “What's this about?”

“So in my writing class, we're required to write an informative type of essay about any subject we want. Professor says it should be one you're passionate about.”

“Are you passionate about second-hand smoking?”

Myungjun snorted, then reached over to lightly flick Dongmin's head. “I'm passionate about _you_ , you dork. And you actually mentioned this in your own paper, didn't you? Second-hand smoking and how dangerous it is to people. So I was thinking of a subject to choose and all I could think about was you.” Myungjun was grinning proudly, and he tapped a hand on his paper. “If I keep smoking, _you_ might develop second-hand smoke, Dongmin, and how much would that suck?”

“Probably a lot.”

“ _Probably_ ,” Myungjun agreed. “I'm going to bury myself in the research, and by the time I'm done, I'm also planning to have quit smoking completely.”

The paper wasn't so surprising, but Myungjun's sudden determination to _quit_ was actually rather shocking. Dongmin had never once pressured him to stop in the months they had been dating. Myungjun had always seemed aware of Dongmin's displeasure with his dirty habit, and he made an effort to only smoke when he wasn't meeting up with Dongmin, but it was something they had never actually discussed.

“You're...going to quit smoking?” The words sounded too good to be true coming from his own mouth. He needed Myungjun to reaffirm the fact that his habit would cease within the next few weeks.

“Yup! I need to be perfect to get on your level, so quitting is-”

“Oh, I'm not perfect,” Dongmin corrected, shaking his head. “We established that early on in our relationship, if you recall.”

“Yeah, well, you _became_ perfect.” Myungjun leaned forward to kiss Dongmin's cheek. Dongmin knew Myungjun had to stand on his tip-toes to do so. He wished he had been looking over for that, because it was always cute to see Myungjun reach up to kiss him.“And I need to become just as perfect to match your level.”

Dongmin still disagreed, and he would have very much liked to argue his lack of perfection, but another customer was entering the shop right then. Myungjun gave Dongmin a wink and whispered, “See you later tonight?” before shooing him aside to continue working.

They met up multiple times during that week, and the next week, and the following week. Dongmin typically didn't schedule his dates with Myungjun so frequently, as they were both very busy people, but he felt it was necessary to help Myungjun along with his goal to quit smoking by the end of his essay. Everyday, Dongmin would ask how the progress was.

“Great!” Myungjun would respond, and Dongmin would pretend to not notice that Myungjun was almost always tired or drinking extra soda or simply not smiling much during their outings. It worried Dongmin that quitting could have such a profound effect on Myungjun, but his boyfriend had simply laughed and waved his hand.

“I knew what I was getting into when I started smoking, and I know what I'm getting into as I try to get out of smoking. It's fine. I think I can handle a few weeks of this and then be completely cigarette-free, rather than having to live my life wondering whether or not I'll develop lung cancer, or if _you_ will develop lung cancer because of me – this is better, honestly.”

Dongmin was convinced, at least, that Myungjun was determined and motivated. Or, rather, he was convinced of that until he decided to surprise his boyfriend with a congratulatory _two-weeks free from smoking_ cake. He had arrived at Myungjun's apartment, but the moment he stepped out of his car, he noticed Myungjun leaning up against the outer wall of the apartment, right near his door, a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

Myungjun didn't notice him, and Dongmin stared from a good distance away before walking forward and clearing his throat.

The moment they met eyes with each other, Myungjun panicked and dropped the cigarette on the ground. “D-Dongminnie!” he exclaimed, eyes wide behind his glasses. He stepped on the fallen cigarette in a weird attempt to hide it. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Dongmin sighed and glanced down at the cake. “Wishing you a happy two weeks of a smoke-free life.”

The regret in Myungjun's gaze as he stared was noticeable. “Ah,” he started, and a hand came up to scratch at the back of his head. “I wasn't...look, you have to believe me, Dongmin, I really _haven't_ smoked at all for two weeks, except for right now.” He gestured down at the cigarette. “This is the first one I've had since I made the promise I would quit.”

It was silent for a few seconds, but then Dongmin smiled and held out the cake. “Then can we still eat this?”

Myungjun blinked. “You're not mad at me?”

“I've done my own research on smoking, if you're unaware, and I understand how difficult it can be to quit.” Dongmin shrugged his shoulders. “It was just one cigarette.”

“You trust me on that?”

“Of course I do! You've never really lied to me about smoking before.” Dongmin suddenly remembered the reason _why_ Myungjun always smoked, however, and his smile began to fall. “Are you stressed?” he asked.

Myungjun grimaced but gave a short laugh. “Caught me.”

“About what?”

“A lot of stuff.” Myungjun stuffed his hands in his pockets. “School, I guess. Getting older. What life will be like for _us_ down the road. The usual.”

It didn't sound like the usual, and Dongmin bit at his lips. “Hey,” he murmured. Myungjun looked up at him. “Can I set this cake down in your house so we can talk?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry about that.” Myungjun opened his door and allowed Dongmin to finally step in. Once the cake was settled, they both took a seat.

“So you're stressed about _us_?” Myungjun had never made such worried statements before. He was usually the one to claim he would be with Dongmin forever and ever.

Myungjun grabbed forks and passed one over to Dongmin before stabbing at the cake with his own. “Yes and no,” he responded. “I mean, I know you're totally in love with my face-”

Dongmin snorted.

“-and I'm rather impartial to your looks-”

“Thanks.”

“-the mirror loves you more than it loves me, in any case.” Myungjun giggled. “Not my point, though. I was just thinking – you're going to be a doctor and you'll be away from home a lot-”

“Home?”

“You're the king of interruptions.” Myungjun sighed and stuffed a piece of cake in his mouth.

Dongmin cleared his throat. “I just... _home_?”

“Well, yeah. If we're going to be together, I assume we'll be living together.”

The very thought of such made Dongmin blush, but he tried as hard as possible to keep his red cheeks to a minimum to ensure that Myungjun didn't see it. “Oh. Yes, yes, of course we would be.”

Myungjun stared at him curiously. “For someone who always has it together, you don't seem to have our future planned out very well.”

“Well, I _had_ my future planned out, and it didn't involve you in my plans, so I'm still in the process of rewriting it.”

“Please don't tell me you actually write it out.”

Dongmin said nothing, and Myungjun groaned. “I'm dating such a geek!” he exclaimed, then held out his fork with more cake stuck to the prongs. “Eat this, you weirdo.”

Dongmin obliged, a small smile on his face when he saw how satisfied Myungjun looked. “Anyway,” his boyfriend continued as Dongmin chewed on the sweet offering he had been given, “I was just thinking about our future and some parts of it stress me out. Which would be fine, probably, except I also have to worry about school and Sanha called me _old_ the other day-”

“You're only three years older than me.”

“Don't talk with your mouth full, Dongminnie.” Myungjun shrugged his shoulders once again. “Just a lot of stuff on my mind, I guess.”

Once he swallowed the cake in his mouth, Dongmin asked, “How is your paper going?”

Myungjun laughed nervously. “Funny you should ask, because that was actually the main reason I grabbed a cigarette.” He took a few minutes to set out his laptop and open it to the report. “I've been stuck for three days now. I wrote two paragraphs the other day and had to delete them because they sucked so bad. Here, tell me what I should do next.”

And Dongmin did. He spent a few hours with Myungjun, eating the cake and helping him finalize the last few pages of his essay. When he finally left for the evening, Myungjun gave him a long hug and a kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks, Mr. Smarty-Pants,” was the gratitude he received, but the kiss made it all worth the effort.

Myungjun managed to score an A plus on his paper, and he proudly showed it to Dongmin the moment he was able to. “Look!” he announced, finger constantly poking at the grade. “I did _perfect_ on this, Dongmin!”

Dongmin only felt a slight twinge of jealousy that Myungjun was able to achieve a perfect score and _he_ had been unable to. However, the jealousy was pushed aside with his own form of pride. Myungjun had worked extremely hard on both the paper and his own lifestyle, and it seemed as if his efforts had paid off in the end.

“That's awesome, Myungjun!”

“ _And_ -” Myungjun reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a carton of cigarettes.

“Are you smoking again?”

“What? No!” Myungjun scoffed. “Haven't touched them since that one cigarette I had a few weeks back. These are the leftovers, though, and I wanted to throw them into the garbage.” He didn't even wait for Dongmin's response before tossing them in the closest trash can. He looked even prouder of reaching his personal goal than he had of scoring high marks on his paper. “How's that?”

“Perfect.” Dongmin couldn't stop grinning, and he leaned over to kiss Myungjun. However, Myungjun's finger came up to stop him, and Dongmin blinked. “No kissing?”

“Something better.” A mischievous glint came to Myungjun's eyes. “So remember how you mentioned I needed to find something _else_ addictive to stick in my mouth to stop smoking?”

Dongmin wondered if the weather had suddenly gone up twenty degrees. It felt like he was in a desert. He pulled at the collar of his shirt and gave a nervous chuckle. “D-Don't know what you mean by that.”

“I'll repeat it until you do, then.”

“In that case, I slightly remember, but-”

“No _buts_.” Myungjun grinned. “I found something even better than cigarettes I like sticking in my mouth.”

Dongmin was just about ready to stutter some more, possibly give himself an excuse to leave, but Myungjun suddenly held up a lollipop. “These little suckers are addictive as hell.” He unwrapped the one he had and stuffed it in his mouth.

Dongmin was speechless.

“Did I get you?” Myungjun howled with laughter, lollipop stick hanging from the corner of his mouth. “Oh my _god_ , Dongmin, you should have seen your face! That was the best expression I've ever _seen_! I gotta do this sort of thing more often.”

Dongmin felt like he was going to die of a heart attack if he continued to date Myungjun. It certainly beat _not_ dating Myungjun, though, and by the time Myungjun finally stopped laughing long enough for Dongmin to kiss him, Dongmin realized that he didn't mind if he was imperfect, and he didn't mind if he might die of a heart attack from Myungjun's stupid antics, and he didn't mind if his classmates still thought poorly of him for dating a smoker (an _ex-_ smoker at this point, Dongmin proudly reminded himself).

He didn't mind any of that, because Myungjun tasted like blueberry lollipop and green tea and Dongmin decided that it was perfect the way it was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we're done!!! not as amazing or as thought out as my myungjin fics, lol, but i still thought it was a lot of fun to write, and i liked trying my hand at something new. still debating on which fic to do next - moonrock or binu or myungjin, though, so expect something here sooner or later. until then, send me dollar bills [@vonseal](http://www.vonseal.tumblr.com) so i can bribe fantagio into releasing the mv for the winter dream album.


End file.
